Chanah's TdM Reading

The first cards I drew were:



Batons are creative energy. The Chevalier is gesturing with his stick saying "C'mon, let's GO!" Creative energy is abounding. but the intellect (Valet) hangs back. He waffles and hesitates, draws his sword but does not use it. The four stable corner coins show stability, at least in small things, and they are birthing that fifth coin in the center. Fives are a bridge, a desire to go further.
It's probably not a good idea to over-intellectualize at present. Just go for whatever it is you want to do. Play by instinct for now. "Fly by the seat of the pants."


Next, I did a reduced spread with majors only. Briefly (We'll get more detail after the short explanation):

The first position represents the question, and the past. We have Le Monde here. Things have been better before. Maybe you are trying to get something back? You remember better days and you are trying to return to something similar?

It's also a card of completion. Maybe you've finished something and you're wondering what's next, something like that.

The second position shows the general ambience around you, it takes place now and in the near future. We have Le Fov. You may be surrounded by idiots! Transients, weird guys...not a good neighborhood, but we knew that.

Le Fov is also a big surge of energy. This reiterates what the Chevalier was saying. He's moving ahead. Period.

The third position, "actions exerted by superior forces in order to reconcile the first two cards, the head", shows La Mort. He's clearing away things whose time have come. All of these are pointing to one cycle ending and another one coming into being. I don't know what it is, but I think it will be good for you.

The fourth position is the feet, the base, and the result. La Papesse. Solitude, in a good way, peace, study, gestation...time away from the madness!

Now we add 21+13+2 (Le Fov is unnumbered) and get 36. 3+6=9, so we put Lermite in the center as the card that represents synthesis, the psychic moment you are in. The Hermit is what Jodo called a "sacred tramp". He wanders. He is also a VIIII - positive crisis preceding change. So if nothing else, the cards are being very consistent.





Also keep in mind that the horizontal line can represent "Becoming" and the vertical, "Being." There is food for thought here.

Now, I am always curious when I see someone staring at something, so I put some more cards down to see what these people are looking at. Philippe Camoin calls it "The Camoin Law of the Glance", but I've read that Tchalaï Unger does it, that Jodorowsky does it, a lot of people do it, I think, because it is natural and valid to want to know what someone is looking at. So I pulled more cards:



The angel summons the risen dead with his trumpet, but the skeleton looks like he wants to whack the angel! He has the face of a little boy who enjoys whacking things. I think this is all just mental interplay. I think this is saying that you have a lively mind! You can't really hurt an angel (inspiration) by whacking it with a scythe. But it's good to take shots at a concept or idea and see how it holds up.

A more conventional slant on these is that something is trying to come back up, but you aren't letting it.





These were all in ONE line, but the board won't show them that way unless I use thumbnails, and I wanted the large pictures to show the details.

You can see a very obvious eye rhyme in the Empress's scepter and the one the dancing figure holds on Le Monde. The stiff and uncomfortable Empress longs to dance unencumbered in the sky. The Hermit's lamp is level with the eagle on Le Monde. Maybe it is not a lamp this time, but a bird cage. I think he has freed the eagle, and he is just watching to see how things turn out.

I think these are pretty auspicious.

Le Mat takes all that good stuff, strips it, packs it in his bag, and brings it to Le Soleil.

Now I KNOW this is auspicious!

A word to the wise, though, if you look at these, there is a lot of starting and stopping, a lot of zooming in and out. So things will take their usual convoluted route. But all in all, it's a very good spread, IMHO, and coupled with what you got for the Mo, I'd guess that things will be improving.



The Papesse is watching the Devil. The Devil puts on a big prince-of-darkness show, but the Papesse sees right through it. Look at her eyes! She wants to laugh, I think.
You don't have any real foes because you can see through them, I'm guessing.

I'm going to come back to all this, I'm not all done yet. In the meantime feel free to comment, criticize, add on, or whatever you want.

It's a lot to take in at once, but I like it. Except the isolation. Waay too much of that lately.

It's nice to have electricity again, though - I need to get out my Noblet and recreate this one here. I just re-read Italo Calvino's Castle of Crossed Destinies, which makes the whole thing a little trippier

Highly recommended, btw.

Thank you very much!

It's so nice that in the Marseille you can call the Fool a fool - because he is - as are so many of the people around me.

I'm definitely concentrating more on the material these days - managed to manifest a bit more money and got a couple Lenormand readings (paid for), so that was good. I desperately need to get the house cleaned and organised (not by a druggie who lives here), and replace the sofa - you'll laugh but that was the first thing I thought of seeing the Chevalier des Batons - the horse with the fancy outfitting. The neighbourhood is bad, and the house itself is depressing beyond belief because of being so filthy and everything scattered, and the sofa and chair are falling apart and the whole thing screams white trash.

I really need to move house, but as long as I'm here, I want to make this one as habitable as possible, cos it is my sort-of sanctuary. In a way things are ending - I really don't talk to anyone at all here anymore, just too tired of the excuses and all the drugs and the druggie behaviour.

I bought a bunch of clothes recently - that helped. Was also sort of essential since when I got sick I ballooned to a size 22 or so from all the waterweight and now I'm down to a size 14. Bigger than I used to be, but I'm fine with it, I'm not obsessed with anorexia. Besides, there's something about running around in rags that's depressing as hell - especially when there's no choice.

It's not wanting to be wealthy, because money itself - not a great motivator for me. But it needs to be better than here and now - which could be the World/Death thing. I think I'm kind of in a Hermit place in my offline life, which hopefully will lead to better things.

Bryter (and more) Layter.

Chanah wrote:

It's a lot to take in at once, but I like it. Except the isolation. Waay too much of that lately.

Sun w/be coming out.

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It's nice to have electricity again, though - I need to get out my Noblet and recreate this one here. I just re-read Italo Calvino's Castle of Crossed Destinies, which makes the whole thing a little trippier

You, too? Okay, now I HAVE to read it.

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It's so nice that in the Marseille you can call the Fool a fool - because he is - as are so many of the people around me.

Nothing like a no-bs deck.
Methinks mainstream Tarot over-romanticises.

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I'm definitely concentrating more on the material these days - managed to manifest a bit more money and got a couple Lenormand readings (paid for), so that was good. I desperately need to get the house cleaned and organised (not by a druggie who lives here), and replace the sofa - you'll laugh but that was the first thing I thought of seeing the Chevalier des Batons - the horse with the fancy outfitting.

The covering of the horse like the sheet over a duct-taped naugahyde sofa...! Yes, DONE THAT!

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The neighbourhood is bad, and the house itself is depressing beyond belief because of being so filthy and everything scattered, and the sofa and chair are falling apart and the whole thing screams white trash.

I'm sure we've both managed to avoid the junked trucks on cinderblocks and kids in underwear playing in mud puddles, but my bathroom floor is layered particleboard.

We tread carefully.

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I really need to move house, but as long as I'm here, I want to make this one as habitable as possible, cos it is my sort-of sanctuary. In a way things are ending - I really don't talk to anyone at all here anymore, just too tired of the excuses and all the drugs and the druggie behaviour.

Yeah, you have to shut down on everybody. It's all coke and heroin now, nobody cares about expanding their consciousness anymore. They care about selling the copper pipes out of your house. Or worse. Much worse.

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I bought a bunch of clothes recently - that helped. Was also sort of essential since when I got sick I ballooned to a size 22 or so from all the waterweight and now I'm down to a size 14. Bigger than I used to be, but I'm fine with it, I'm not obsessed with anorexia. Besides, there's something about running around in rags that's depressing as hell - especially when there's no choice.

Argh. Yeah. Clothes help a lot. Especially considering how shallow and ignorant some of the people one has to deal with can be.

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It's not wanting to be wealthy, because money itself - not a great motivator for me. But it needs to be better than here and now - which could be the World/Death thing. I think I'm kind of in a Hermit place in my offline life, which hopefully will lead to better things.

Sun. No "Que Sera Sera". Prediction. Sun.

Yup - this is where I live. You can see my house in the third photo down, and you are only too right about everybody chasing the needle and the crack pipe.

My little sanctuary (literally two blocks away from here and nobody even knows it exists, because it hides behind very plain walls) is here. The only honest-to-goodness Daoist garden outside of China - I love to go sit on a rock by the Jade Pond. There was a week where they had a promo, and if you were a local, you could get a pass good from June through the end of December for $10 instead of the usual $10 per visit. Couldn't afford it, got one anyway, very glad I did.

The material stuff: You do get beaten up a lot less by the cops if you look halfways decent - and you don't get hit on so much, either - so many prostitutes down here. I'm hardly looking like a rich bitch, but just an average person with clothing that fits and came from a shop instead of a rubbish bin. And doing the hair and make up stuff, too.

And yes, I want to put the nauga out of its suffering, and to get my house cleaned and I sometimes have fantasies about a computer that's not eleven years old. Still too ill to manage the housework on my own. The doctor's office in Florida lied through their teeth today when they said that because my calcium was within normal range the last time it was tested (by 2/100's of a point), I am now completely cured, so all my symptoms must have been and still be coming from something else. (I threw cards, too - - somebody's sure as hell fibbing).

Had my monthly torture session at the disability office today, didn't fight, just kept my mouth shut and turned in papers, AND ran into the druggie neighbour who ripped me off this month (and last month). I just said hi and walked on as he was trying to insult me.

Did get a little bit of shopping done to replace some of the stuff from the fridge and freezer that all had to be tossed (ouch - even when you have almost nothing, it still adds up), have to come up with cash for a housecleaning person, it'll work out somehow.

Maybe I am turning into a rabid materialist.

Had a sort of upsetting phone call with a good friend of mine in New York the other night - he said he hadn't rang for ages because he knew my life was hell, and was afraid I might not be able to put on a happy face. I did, though, because he's always thought of me as a hero (mistakenly), and when I'm not being heroic, no matter what's happening, he can't deal. Which saddens me a little bit - we've known each other since the late 1960s, and I have so few people left from those days.

I'm kinda sad, but okay. Mostly just completely bloody exhausted today. Another reason I feel like I need the house not a disaster is I have to start keeping some kind of Shabbat here - I'm not frum, I'm about as far on the liberal side of Judaism as you can get without falling off, but I really really need to start doing that again.

You'll love Castle of Crossed Destinies. I liked it way better than that story in Taros, anyway, but maybe I'm just weird (maybe??).

Haven't updated the blog, haven't worked on moving the site to its new domain, and oh yes, still have to do taxes and housing forms *shudders*, but the disability dread is done for the month and barring emergencies, no medical appointments for three whole weeks. So with a little luck, it'll come together.

So that's where I am today.

I've looked at the photos of where you live Chanah.... had no idea it was like that. Is there any possibility of your moving away from there, to a less threatening area?
In your town doesn't your Disability Office (or similar authority like that), offer any kind of home-help? Over here people are now having to pay for home-help visits - but for just a few visits, providing the 'help' does some useful basic moving stuff around - it's probably worth it to get straightened out. Your friend in New York, could he visit...... just a thought.
Or, what about those DERA people?

The one thing that has never made any sense to me is that when someone is ill, at their most vulnerable, they are expected to do all manner of physical, mental and emotional gymnastics in order to 'prove' they're ill &/or get assistance - and it's not just a one-time thing, they're expected to do it on a regualr basis! None of which is conducive to an early recovery.
My friend who has cancer, had to be at the hospital for 8am (got up at 5.30 because of the journey). She was left sitting around for two hours. Then a nurse appeared and, calling her by the WRONG name, said "Lets get your blood done Mrs x". Bloody disgraceful.

Some clothes and a hair-do are a pick-me-up, been there, and it does help. And you've lost some weight, so that helps too re. clothing.
I love your sanctuary - beautiful place to be able to go to. An oasis in a desert.

My thoughts are with you Chanah.

Bee

Thanks, Bernice. We don't have home help anymore, and if they can cut money from your pension for any reason, no matter how trivial, they will - workers get pay bonuses when their clients die or go off the disability rolls for whatever reason (usually it's people preferring the streets to what disability puts you through, not getting a job), so they aren't really inspired to help people. We've been censured by the UN I don't know how many times for human rights violations, but that means nothing in real terms.

The reason for me having to bring in the notarised bank statement every month is cos they're underpaying me, and if a supervisor ever looks at it they don't want to be accused of overpaying me, cos that'd be bad for them. Ergo, I get $242 per month now. It's supposed to be a base of $900, and the notarised bank statement thing - pure harassment.

It used to be good here, with home help and pensions of $1700 baseline, but that all changed - look at my neighbourhood for the result - not that it was ever great here, but it didn't use to be like this.

DERA usually just does lobbying, and sometimes they can find you a cheap lawyer in an eviction case, but most people being evicted can't afford lawyers.

And yes, I hope I'll be able to move house sometime soon.

I'm sorry about your friend - i do have some idea what that's like, too.

Chanah wrote:

Yup - this is where I live. You can see my house in the third photo down, and you are only too right about everybody chasing the needle and the crack pipe.

Not much time today but:

Ack. The kind of place where you have to walk like you know where you're going, even if you don't, and don't talk to anybody.

The kind of place where if you've got any jewelry left, you don't let anybody see it.

The kind of place where you pin your big bills (on those rare days you have any) in your underwear and sleep like that.

Keep looking for a way out. I'll double up on the Tara.

I appreciate it, Stella - your Tara energy always seems to do the world of good in my life.

You got my neighbourhood in one.

I haven't been around much anywhere this week - so sorry. The lengthy power-and-water outage screwed up everything, then three far away appointments with no traffic signals working, which made both the taxi and trains ... interesting and a lot longer, then the disability office, then having to run around and try to get some shopping done to replace the ruined stuff in the fridge and freezer. By Thursday noon, I just keeled.

Still have more to get done, but it's feeling a bit more bearable now. Hopefully I'll sleep well tonight.

And thank you again.

You're welcome, and don't worry about how much you are here or not here.

The most important thing right now is to heal, survive and find a way out.

We'll be here.

And I thought Canada took better care of people....

Chanah wrote:

I'm kinda sad, but okay. Mostly just completely bloody exhausted today. Another reason I feel like I need the house not a disaster is I have to start keeping some kind of Shabbat here - I'm not frum, I'm about as far on the liberal side of Judaism as you can get without falling off, but I really really need to start doing that again.

Maybe just clean the table and take it from there...it's extenuating circumstances, after all.
I know people are always saying to scrub down the room before doing religious activities, but sometimes you just can't.

I know this is a little different, but while I'm very careful to keep my Tara shrine dust-and-clutter free, I just don't always have the time or energy to clean the whole room. Over the last week I've been working a lot and it's 100 degrees every day, so I have a pretty big laundry pile and I need to dust everything else and my books look like a train wreck. Sometimes it happens like that, but it's okay.

Would it be okay for you, too, especially since your circumstances are more dire?

You are very kind and thank you. I'm still playing telephone tag with someone who may be able to do some cleaning - she's a friend of the lady who works in the office here ergo doesn't live in the building.

And yes, I can light a couple of candles, even though the house is a mess.

Re: the candles:
Re: Phone tag:

Chanah wrote:

she's a friend of the lady who works in the office here ergo doesn't live in the building.

Hope that translates to "not a junkie or crack monster."

On a side note, found the Calvino book for $3 here:
http://www.abebooks.com/
I was honestly going to skip it, since EE recommends a LOT of books and I just can't afford all of them. But since you said it was trippy, I HAVE to read it.

I don't know much about government there, if you were here I'd advise you to go to your local state rep's office and tell your tale. Sometimes when they see you are vocal and articulate, they'll pull some strings for you, since they don't want you making them look bad. I got an apartment that way, once.

...The thing is, you're NOT supposed to be there. That's the dumping ground for the people they've given up on, (which is unconscionable in itself) but you don't even fit the profile.

ETA: I worded that wrong.

No being that draws breath "belongs" there. Not the junkies, not even the rats.

But you really, REALLY don't belong there.

I know. And I know nobody else does either and I know I don't have anything in common with them except for humanity and crushing poverty.

Back in 2001 or 2002, whenever it was they decided we had to have the Olympics in Vancouver at all costs, that's when they started hacking away at social programmes, medicare, and education in British Columbia.

It's not a matter of going to my member of parliament's office and being articulate - these services no longer exist for anybody who doesn't have money to hire someone privately. There is no longer any goverment agency that provides that kind of care.

I hope we'll be sane again by 2010 when our two weeks of Olympics, which have already costs thousands of lives, are over. I hope we'll survive. There were another 1300 evictions this month when they tore down some cheap hotels, so the shanty town in my street is growing. I expect everyone will get swept out to somewhere on account of the Olympics gentrification that's happening, but who knows?

But no, I don't belong here. Still, I think the Mo said to put as many band-aids as I could on the situation - and getting the place cleaned is one of them - assuming I can afford it, actually, even if I can't. Spending way too much money of late, and the little disaster with the power didn't help.

I found a copy of Alfred Douglas's The Tarot for $3 at Powells. Powells, Alibris, Abebooks - all good places for the occasional gem. I do think you'll like Castle of Crossed Destinies.

Chanah wrote:

I know. And I know nobody else does either and I know I don't have anything in common with them except for humanity and crushing poverty.

Back in 2001 or 2002, whenever it was they decided we had to have the Olympics in Vancouver at all costs, that's when they started hacking away at social programmes, medicare, and education in British Columbia.

That's pretty much equivalent to someone starving their kids in order to get a facelift.

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It's not a matter of going to my member of parliament's office and being articulate - these services no longer exist for anybody who doesn't have money to hire someone privately. There is no longer any goverment agency that provides that kind of care.

Maybe someone working on a more grassroots level?
http://www.jaysleftist.info/directory/countries/canadian.htm
Just taking shots in the dark...sometimes you have to try a lot of stuff hoping one thing takes root.
At least maybe get you a place in a neighborhood where you'd get more respect. I'd let you stay at my place if you could get here.

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I hope we'll be sane again by 2010 when our two weeks of Olympics, which have already costs thousands of lives, are over. I hope we'll survive. There were another 1300 evictions this month when they tore down some cheap hotels, so the shanty town in my street is growing. I expect everyone will get swept out to somewhere on account of the Olympics gentrification that's happening, but who knows?

Like so much debris...there's a lot of THAT going around.

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But no, I don't belong here. Still, I think the Mo said to put as many band-aids as I could on the situation - and getting the place cleaned is one of them - assuming I can afford it, actually, even if I can't. Spending way too much money of late, and the little disaster with the power didn't help.

And the Mo was optimistic, the TdM was optimistic, so hang on.

Just a note: the Jay's Leftist thing came up when I googled "BC poverty", I'm not trying to promote anyone's political agenda.

Though I am intrigued. Here in the US, we don't even HAVE a left. There is no socialist party, or anything close. A lot of people are brainwashed to think socialized ANYTHING = fascism. Anything that isn't extremist right-wing batsh*t crazy gets labeled as "left" or "liberal", which, according to a-holes like Rush "Pharmies" Limbaugh, is bad.

I'm still going to vote for Obama and encourage others to do the same, since McCain could easily end up killing at least half of us, but this is just sad:
http://www.alternet.org/columnists/story/91931/
Things are so out-of-balance here, it's sick. I like Obama, I expect him do do what he has to do to get in there, but...:gag:

Off-rant now. Sorry for the thread drift.

It's okay. I don't like Obama because one of the reasons he claimed to support NAFTA was to show us Canadians what proper wages and health and safety standards in the workplace should be.

They have indeed plummetted under American influence.

But McCain's scarier. I think Hilary was probably your best candidate, though you really didn't have a lot of choice even to start with.

And I suspect whoever owns the most super-delegates or even regular delegates to the EC will win.

I know that socialism is a dirty word in America. Up here we're mostly scratching our heads trying to tell the parties apart in the US - uhh - which one was it again that was supposed to be socially progressive?

Chanah wrote:

It's okay. I don't like Obama because one of the reasons he claimed to support NAFTA was to show us Canadians what proper wages and health and safety standards in the workplace should be.

Arrrghhh...sometimes I wonder why I bother....
Oh, yeah. Republicans.

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They have indeed plummetted under American influence.

And who influences America? Chinese sweatshops, most likely.

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But McCain's scarier.

Yeah...like Bush, only with advanced dementia and PTSD.

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I think Hilary was probably your best candidate, though you really didn't have a lot of choice even to start with.

She's one of THEM, only with a health care plan (she SAYS, anyway... ) and a hoo-hoo. What did the Clintons do when they were in there before? Slash welfare and put NAFTA through. Democrats in name only. Republicans IRL.
Obama's paying off her campaign debt. I think it's protection money.

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I know that socialism is a dirty word in America. Up here we're mostly scratching our heads trying to tell the parties apart in the US - uhh - which one was it again that was supposed to be socially progressive?

When? In the early 60's?
Don't they shoot people for that?